My future

I'm in the process of making some major life changes. At the moment I'm stuck at a crossroad, the only thing I know is :i need to return to college for a master's degree. Herein lies my dilemma....I've been substituting at various school districts throughout darke county. I do enjoy it....I don't love it like some of my former classmates do. I think that maybe a problem. I'm not sure. I have figured out I'm not comfortable with the elementary kids...they listen to me with zero problems, but those LOL middle freak me out. I'm afraid that I won't teach them enough for the next phase of their education. Did I only choose education because I thought it would be easy or due to actually enjoying the jr/sr high schoolers?
If secondary education is not my destiny or whatever ya want to call it.....then what is? Before I finished my bachelor's degree, I was contemplating a master's in student affairs. Technically, both are education degrees.  I do enjoy helping students. Maybe that's why this is such a difficult decision. Anything worth doing comes with challenges....if its too easy....its not worth it. It could be this is my challenge. The first hurdle to complete....what degree to choose. Sahe or secondary ed.

on the brink....of....??

Image by Christine ™ via Flickr

I feel I'm on verge of something, but I don't know what that might be. A new adventure would be nice though many adventures require fundage which I am quite short of. That might not be the best thing (unless it's a free adventure). I notice that I tend to feel this way every few years. I get very unsettled when I don't know what's going to happen next. Even though, I have only recently (the last few years) began goal setting for myself....I am at a crossroads without one. For the last five years, my goal was to graduate with my Bachelor degree in English. Did that. Now, what? It has been almost a year since my graduation. I figured that the time would help me figure out what I wanted to be when I decided to grow up. That hasn't happened. While I wait, and contemplate, I enrolled in a Master's program. For the most part, I enjoy it. I question whether or not this is what I want to do for the rest of my life. Do I really want to hold college students' hands through their academic career? Last year, I would've said heck yeah...no Hell yeah. I was all gun ho. But now? I wonder if I just decided on this degree because it was easy for me. It's something I already know. For the most part, I get it. But do I want something easy? Or am I looking at this all wrong? Maybe it's not "easy" but something that comes natural to me. This really is my destined career. My undergraduate mentors were able to see it before I did. But I have had this fascination with Marketing. I think that is why I am really questioning my choice of degree. What if my friend Mandy hadn't told me that I would be an English major? What degree would I have went with (because I know it wouldn't have been Nursing as I originally thought)? I wonder if I would have chosen Marketing. The only setback for that degree is the amount of math...ugh I hated math. I was always good at Algebra but anything else eludes me.  Anyway, I choose English because my English Composition professors informed me I have a natural talent for writing. I have always loved reading and writing as a child. It seemed to be a no brainer. Sadly, no one told me that I would have problems getting a job without going to grad school until my Senior year. By then, my degree is complete....thanks a lot for the heads up.
I feel like something is waiting for me on the other side of....? Is it something good? Or just more heartache and time intensive work for little to no rewards. I'm not looking for a total payday. I just want something that keeps me motivated everyday. I want to go to work. I look forward to seeing my co-workers. Yes, it would be nice if I could live comfortably, but in this economy--it's highly doubtful.

Related articles

• Why Being Realistic is Not Being Defeatist: Applying to Grad School in 2012 (dameswhodish.wordpress.com)