Coming Home Audrey Wick

Book 2 of Texas Sisters Series

Mallory Fredrick has her dream job--too bad that her self-esteem is tarnished from a student threatening her on social media. She questions everything from her own safety to her teaching abilities. Due to the threat, Mallory is forced to take emergency sabbatical without pay. She has to leave Santa Fe and move in with her younger sister and nephew during her sabbatical. Mallory needs help moving her stuff from Santa Fe to her sister's place in Texas. 

Four guys moving is a company that Alec O'Donnell started with his buddies shortly after college. A company that started out as a bunch of guys helping other people move in and out of their dorms. Now, the guys have families and can set their own schedules and pricing. They all have families of their own except Alec--who is the lone single guy. And he is the only one around during the holidays to help Mallory. Alec is instantly attracted to her--one small problem, she's moving to another state. But they continue a friendly relationship. Alec even invites Mallory to his family reunion. That's where Mallory almost comes face to face with the student who nearly ruined her life--both professionally and personally. Alec is determined to find out why Mallory ran from Santa Fe and to help bring her back to the job and city she loves. 

Boredom from being a successful student

Image by Earlham College via Flickr

In two days, I will be graduating with my Bachelor of Arts in English with honors might I add. I feel very privileged to be graduating with such an honor, I don't want Friday to come. I don't because that will mean an end to my undergraduate career. I know, I should be looking forward to the future with working and graduate school--I'm petrified. I don't want to leave the safety of my undergrad umbrella. I'm scared. Due to this utter fear, I haven't sent out any resumes or applications. I know that is what I should be doing. Pounding the pavement, dredging up whatever I can to pay back my loans and support by boys. I can't. Instead, I have sat on this sofa for two days wallowing in self pity. First, it was due to the fact, I had nothing to push forward to. No homework deadlines. No professors pushing me. Nothing. I was lost that first day. I was miserable. I still feel like that. That was followed by "what now?" I decided it would best for me to take a year off to figure out exactly what I want to do. Do I want to go to grad school? If so, for what? English? Student Affairs in Higher Education? Writing? Or do I just want to get a job to support my family? I don't know (I will need to work in some form to pay the bills). I feel deadlocked. To make matters worse, I spent my entire weekend, last week revising a paper only to get a C. Hell, I shouldn't have revised it so much. I should have left it as the block style instead of the integration form I went with. I'm mad at myself for that. I should be celebrating how great it is to be completing my degree. Instead, I'm moping.
I'm sure it doesn't help that my mother's side of the family and my father's are bickering about whether they have to sit together. I want to scream at them and say "GET OVER YOURSELF!! THIS IS MY GRADUATION. AND YOU'RE RUINING IT!" They are why I'm not having a party. I'm also a bit upset because I have won a bunch of awards lately but to them it's not enough or it's no big deal. HELLO! It is a big deal when only one person gets this award a year. It's a big freakin deal! Right now, everyone sucks. 
To top it all off, I'm bored. Yeah, I have housework to do and resume stuff. Do I do it? Nah. Instead, I waste my time on Facebook. Why? Well why not? Ok, I did get 97% of the laundry done. But my butt hasn't made it to the kitchen yet to clean. I must get that done today or well it's just not sanitary otherwise. No matter how lazy I am....dishes always get done. 

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another hot day

Today at work, we celebrated Paul's promotion to full professor. The only downside was that the party was outside on the patio which made the whole thing very excruciatingly hot. I thought I was going to die the whole thirty minutes we were out there. Michelle had to make an excuse to leave the party outside in order to go back to her air conditioned office. The downside of Paul's party is watching Paul eat...uck....he always has food falling out of his mouth and the food is all over his mouth and face. It makes you wonder if he learned table manners from a pack of wolves. I was quite grateful when I was able to leave and go back to my office.

Thus it begins....

Day 1
I am in search of a MFA program--actually a low residency MFA program to attend next academic year. As per my advisor I should be shopping for programs this summer, taking the GRE in the fall and have everything finalized by December. Or so I'm told. Easier said than done. Today, I begin step 1: shop for MFA programs that meet the criteria I need. The issue with that is...I need convenience of location and a program with assistantships which will pay for my education. Thus far I have only found 1. It's not lookin good. I will have to expand my search beyond the Great Lakes region (well actually, I've only searched Ohio, Indiana, Kentucky, and Michigan). Maybe I do want to go somewhere warm or in the New England region. Who knows at this point? I may change my mind and decide I need a full residency program. Time will tell. My little guys are why I prefer the low residency program. I want to be home with them instead of stuck in a classroom all day either teaching or as a student. We just moved into this nice little house with one acre of yard for them to run and play. If I attend a full residency, I will have to upheaval them back into a tiny apartment. I feel bad enough for making them tolerate my evening classes and such. My goal is for the low residency program. Maybe I will find a program in Massachusetts or North Carolina  which will better suit my needs both financially and academically.

Stalling

I should be doing my Journalism homework but instead I am surfing the web looking for new and different way to make a few bucks. When I say a few buck ....it's literally. I mean for each thing I do I only get a few cents for each. Is it really worth it? I'm not sure yet especially since I have very little time to begin with. This little project may fall to the way side especially since I have no idea what I'm really doing. We'll see how it all works out.
ok...now I have been getting a bit of writing done ...so yeah for me :) I may post it later but I'm unsure.

The slacker is leaving the building......

I know I have been slacking as of recently but seriously.....I needed to. I have been going and going and going for so long I almost forgot how to relax. Sadly, it took some time for me to relax. Now that summer is coming to a close, I need to get reactivated. I need to return to my writing....get out of the notes stage and into the writing phase. I also need to refresh myself with my french especially since I am working with Dottie--Miss Language herself. As of tomorrow....the slacker will leave. She is going on vacation so the serious side can return to kick some academic butt. I know I should start now....but my fun slacker side is asking for one more night. I felt this is only fair since Miss serious didn't leave when she was asked. She didn't leave till a week later. It's fair that I give the slacker another few hours. In the morning, she will be gone. We shall see how motivated Tim stays also. He was really on top of things this evening. He cooked dinner, and did his homework. I am hoping this new side of him stays for more than just a few hours. He made a healthy dinner and went for a run this morning though personally, I am questioning this supposed run but why question something so frivolous. It's only hurting him but lying about exercising when he's not. It does hurt my feeling a bit. I know he lies when he's feeling self-conscious of himself. I know returning to school is an area he's very uncomfortable with especially since he was not the best student in high school. He hardly ever attended school let alone actually do homework. This is something he is very unfamiliar with. These are things I try to remember when he lies. I know he doesn't do it on purpose....when I do call him out it causes more problems than just letting it go. I bruise his ego when I do. I need to remember that guys' ego are fragile and if the ego is not fed often enough it leads down a very dark and lonely path.

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literature and headaches

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I was working on my Irish Lit homework earlier today (I still have a few more things to do for it), I just had to take a break. Don't get me wrong, I love the topics we are reading about. The rich culture and background of Ireland is very intriguing. I am fascinated by other cultures especially European. But one of the things we have to do each week is find topics or subtopics for our research paper that goes along with the reading. Even if it doesn't apply to your paper topic, it will apply to someone else's. After digging through IU's online database, I was just burned out. Yeah, I probably should have just done a load of laundry or some other household chore that only takes 15-20 minutes to complete instead of Facebook which wasted over 2 hours. Now, I will need to not only get a bit of housework done but also cook dinner and finish up this week's homework.
I'm sure it doesn't help that this particular paper is giving me fits. I didn't realize there is so little on Irish Women's Literature. Actually, very little on Irish Literature period let alone women's. It's a bit frustrating to find find very little on an entire country filled with such literary greats as James Joyce and Flannery O'Connor. Why is it that so little is written about women's writers? I suppose some of it is due to the fact that women were unable to write publicly until well after the Victorian era. I still feel women are rubbed of something. Women have robbed by men since the dawn of time though that is a totally different topic altogether.

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disappointing party

I was a bit disappointed in the party we planned for TJ. It was more like a retirement party than an appreciation party. I think we should have just had the BBQ or party at someone's house like Alisa's or Cooksey's place. We could have bought the meat and a few drinks. But Michelle didn't listen to me. I didn't think he would like the party and actually I think he was a bit embarassed by it. None of the other Deans showed up--only half of our faculty came. There was a decent turn out but not what it should have been. Many people just didn't understand what we were doing having a party for him. I can understand their confusion. He's not leaving, he's just stepping down.

Semester Over!

Finally! The Spring semester is over! I didn't think it would ever end. I am so exhausted from this entire academic year. It began in the fall, carried over to the Spring. I'm sure my health issues from the beginning of Spring didn't help matters any. Of course all the issues going on at home just increases the exhaustion. Tim sleeping all the time, Alex and Tim not getting along, my inability to keep up with all the housework and be home for the boys. I always feel guilty for working and going to classes. I shouldn't feel guilty.....I'm spending loads of time on campus. I'm normally home an hour or so after the kids get out of school.

Overwhelmed!

I am extremely relieved that the semester is finally over. Yea! But on the down side of that is now I have to really focus on my writing. For some reason this scared the shit out of me. I think it's because now....I'm not just pretending to be a writer, I am a writer. As a writer, there are certain expectations which come with this label such as being a published writer. Really, is one a writer if they are not published? Are they just pretending if not published? OH geez that first rejection! Ouch! Always hurts. Could not being published the fear of rejection instead of fear of writing--the fear of truth? Why write? Do I have to? Sometimes--yes I do. But other times--no. So then why go through all the hassle? There are better writers. There are worse. So why torture yourself? Writing can at times be torturous. But it also calms me. I feel at peace while in my writing world. It's a place where I am someone else. Someone with different worries and different problems. Someone who is like me but not. Someone who lives like me but doesn't. Someone who despises me but loves me. It's a world where I can be completely myself or the opposite.
This could be why I am having problems focusing on my current writing project, I don't want to be me. The characters are very much like me. Almost too much. I feel like in a way they are me. That is scary. Rejection is scary. I'm just scared, and I don't like that.

Happy retirement Tom!

Today, IUE said good-bye and thank you to Thom Thomas. Tommy has worked at our campus for 34 years. It was great hearing about all these stories from before I was even born. It's amazing how much of an impact one man can have on not only a campus but the community also. There's not a building on campus that doesn't have a Tom Thomas painting. Tom is an extremely talented painter, artist, mentor, leader, and a kind person. He will be greatly missed by everyone from the mainteance crew to the students to fellow instructors/professors. I know I will miss hearing about his latest conspiracy theory or his next get rich plan. His mind is always spinning whether he was trying to make a quick buck to support his high alimony payment to beautifying the City of Richmond with gorgeous morals.

Money issues

It is a beautiful day outside, but I have been stuck inside all day, doing housework and homework. I'm trying to figure out how to solve my financial dilemma. I can do workstudy this summer but that is a bit of a double edged sword. If I do work this summer then I have to take a class or two something that I really can't afford to do. But at the same time I really need to work--I'm stuck. I would just get a part time job but with this economy....thats unrealistic. I am really stressing about it.

fakers

I am really sick of people who act one way then do another. I could me upset because this person said she didn't want to do something but when Too Tall asked her she jumped on it even fighting to get it. I don't think that's right. I mean really. If you don't care then why fight for it. If you do care then express it. I believe I am just done with all of it. I'm going to be like Dottie and say to hell with it all. If other people want to be kiss asses then fine....let them. I'm not like that. If you want my help fine but don't ask for it then treat me like an idiot or disregard my opinion when you're the idiot who asked. I mean seriously??? That's just freakin mean. I'm sure I've been carrying this for way longer than I should. I really need to just let it go. Besides I do have other things to obsess about .....more important things like homework ....my writing...my kids...my household in general.
I can't believe that this semester is over already! I'm glad and sad at the same time. I'm sad cause Randy and Ranae are graduating ....so sad. But at the same time I am really burned out. I need a break. I was going to take the summer off but nooooo Michelle had to ask for 20 workstudy hours for the summer so now I need to take a class or two. UGH! Oh well....worse things could happen.

lack of academic success

I have realized twice this I have yet to really accomplish anything during the three years I have been at Indiana University East. I now feel like a failure. I have no papers published--nothing published really. I have not defended nor presented anything. My only accomplishment is World Language and Culture Club and Humanities Club....oh and Honors Program. I decided to take less classes in order to gain these academic must haves for graduate school. I need to start working on my novel ....I mean seriously work on it not this crap of write two or three sentences and then be done. I need to write--seriously write. I need to get back to the big picture of all this--graduate school then to teach. I need to keep the big picture in focus by keeping the distractions at bay. I know none of this will be simple nor easy but hell nothing in life is easy.
I also need to upgrade my knowledge to technology. Yes, obviously I know and understand the basics of the computer and such but I want to know more about linking sites and so forth along with photoshopping. I had thought about getting a book for dummies about photoshop since I feel like a complte idiot at time when I use it especially since Michelle is so technologically advanced though she is living with an IT nerd.

Academics and Literature

I made a huge mistake this semester....I didn't take Senior Seminar which I need in order to graduate but now I realize I could have graduated next summer. Now, I feel real stupid. I just pushed myself back one year. I wonder if I can take graduate classes before actually graduating with my bachelor degree. I suppose I could work on another minor or major. Who knows. Everything happens for a reason though at this moment I really can't tell why I made such a huge blunder. This is a perfect example of why you should always listen to that little voice in your head. Damn that voice! I think I really wanted more time to work on my novel. I have so much to work on. That is another thing on my to do list. I will get that finished by the end of the summer. At least the first draft anyway.

Another note, I met with Laverne to review my papers for her class. I was quite surprised about how little she had to say about one paper but not the other although the L225 paper was (is) a mess. I had no focus. ...no organization....oh it was bad. I am going to start all over with my revision. A perfect example of why one should not write a paper just hours before it is due. L346 the paper has focus with only a few grammar errors. I have found grammar is not my friend. Actually it is quite the opposite. It loathes me. My grammar is in deseparate need of improvement in both English and French. I am determined that grammar and I will be friends by the time I graduate.

I must say my conversation with Laverne was quite interesting. She said she loved my analysis from each book our class has read and felt that I should not turn away from literary analysis because I have such insight about the works. She quizzed me about which genre within creative writing I wanted to specialize in. She asked if I had taken Mary's Poetry class. Of course I had to tell he I was avoiding it because poetry was my drawback in W203. She informed me I really need Mary's class because every great and classical writer gained control over their writing by writing poetry. I gained such insight and respect for her today. One thing that slightly confuses me is how she knew I wanted my MFA. Did I tell her that at the beginning of the semester? Or did someone else tell her? I suppose it doesn't really matter though.