karma

Tonight, I was IMing my father. He was trying to talk me into attending his new in-laws 50th wedding anniversary. Now why in the world would I want to attend that? According to him, it's because they are family now. They want us there. Yeah right! My ass! I don't know why they even give a shit about us. I don't even know their names. I have only met these people maybe...three times. If that. I just don't feel connected to them at all. Besides just because one marries doesn't make you family....it just means you're related. To me, family is who looks out for you and cares for you and on occasion...will drop you a line just to see how you are. Right now, I guess I'm overly critical of others. I'm in a very distrustful place. Too many people have lied to me including my father. With him, I placed him on a pedestal way too high. A pedestal he should not have even been on. I could still be frustrated about the goings from this week. I need to find a way to purge all this anxiety and frustration. I only hope that my frustrations and such will be purged soon. I'm not sure how much longer my emotions can stand to be within myself. I must find way to purge them. Let the brain storming begin.

stupid lives.....

I'm really not sure where to start....this week I really do feel like I'm on the brink of losing my mind. Part of me just wants to walk away from all the bullshit. I have never had someone take credit for my work. It happened today. A co worker of mine is telling everyone that she does this and she does that. I found out that she took complete credit for a project that I did. She said she worked on it for the last few day....yeah right...it took me one day to do. I'm not sure if I'm more upset about her taking credit for my work or the fact that she lied about my role in the project. She isn't the first person to lie to/about me this week.  This is instance number two from numerous people. People can be incredibly two faced. Perhaps they may not have intended for it to come across that way but it did. I'm incredibly upset about it and for some reason I can't use my words. Nothing has helped me with calming down. I wish I could find a way to relax and find a way to deal with the stupid shit.