Wednesday, January 14, 2009

health issues lead to writing issues

I know I said I was going to use this for my writing but when the mind is clouded it won't let me be creative. Right now, my mind is preoccupied with my health problems. Granted they are minor compared to others problems but I have always been in pretty good health until recently. I just found out the reasons for all the pains in my abdomen and for the constant nausea. I have gallstones something that is normally not much of an issue but my doc is sending me to a surgeon which means I must have some pretty major gallstone problems. But that really isn't worrying me. Its something else he mentioned during the conversation. He wants to do another ultrasound on my abdomenal. And now I can not spell. Great. This day just get better and better. The reason he wants to do another is he saw an abnormality with my arteries. That's a bit worry some. I mean....A gallbladder and gallstone...no biggie. I don't need a gallbladder. But what the heck is wrong with the arteries. Seriously, you don't tell someone there's something abnormal and then end the conversation. I want more answers, but I know I probably won't get them anytime soon. Even if I make an appointment to discuss it he will tell me he's just being precautious which translates to I want to cover my ass so you can't sue me if I fuck up. I'm just emotional because I'm stuck inside with very little to do. I suppose I could do housework or something a bit more productive but I'm not. So, instead I keep stewing over this. I know it's unhealthy. I should make myself get up and do yoga or anything that will help get my mind off of my own issues. I'm sure it doesn't help that I'm worried about my mother which I should,'t because I should force her to stop acting like a child and take care of herself. Instead I am enabling her. I keep doing it because its easier than the guilt.

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